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College Relationships: Are They Worth it?

College relationships; are they for everyone? Students from all different universities are full of a variety of different outlooks on having relationships in college.  When deciding whether or not you want to get involved with someone during your four years of college, students tend to weigh out the pros and cons.  Most people associate the “single life” with non-stop partying, no attachments to anyone, and time for themselves.  People who are single tend to believe that people involved in relationships are stuck with each other and don’t have time to have a separate social life.  This may stand true for a rare bunch of couples, but people who are committed to someone would argue this.  I talked to a variety of students who are either single or in a relationship.

After talking to a few students, a pattern seemed to develop. Gender plays a big factor in college relationships.  More females admitted that they would be interested in meeting someone and settling down, but they just haven’t come across the right person yet.

A junior at Bloomsburg University, Megan Sell said, “I don’t choose to be single; I just haven’t met anyone worth settling down for.”  This was a common reaction from women when asked why they choose to be single.  According to Sell, being single isn’t really a “choice.”  Another Bloomsburg University student, Sara Kaufman, admitted “I love to be single and do what I want without anyone judging me, but it would be nice to meet a sincere guy up here who I could commit to.”

It seems that more females are interested in the idea of finding a significant other, while males are stuck on the partying and being single scene.  Jake Smith, a senior at BU, strengthened this assumption by stating, “These are supposed to be the years of our lives, why waste time settling down, you have your whole life to do that.”

Having a relationship during college is something students really contemplate about.  The possibility that you may have your heart broken and have to continue your journey of getting your college degree, while seeing that person on campus every day, is a concern.  Other concerns for single people consist of the worry that they will fall behind on school work, or strain away from their social life.  Students who are single tend to focus on the negative aspects of having a boyfriend or girlfriend, to convince themselves that being single is the way to go.  Most males agree that if they did meet someone unexpectedly, it wouldn’t be a bad thing, but they aren’t looking for it.  While females such as Kaufman were quick to admit that when they go out, they have the intentions on meeting that special someone.  The saying, “you can’t look for love, you have to let it find you,” stands to be true.

After hearing from people who were not involved with someone, I got in touch with a West Chester University student, Bridgette Reynolds, to hear her view on being committed to someone during college. Reynolds gladly admitted, “I wasn’t looking for anything when I met my boyfriend, but it was worth it, and I learned to balance school work and him.”

Couples make it look easy, but to single students, concerns still remain.   Jake Smith stated, “The thought of having a girlfriend during finals week, is what makes me happy to be single.”  Students were quick to agree with Smith’s statement, though it may be nice to have a special person to spend time with, being single isn’t so bad either.

Sarah Stoner, a 20 year old junior at BU, was previously involved with someone she met at college. She admits her devastation was intense when her and her previous boyfriend of two years ended.  Stoner described the heart break she experienced when things didn’t work out, and how it intervened with her social life.    She never intended on meeting anyone at school that she would spend so much time with, and put so much effort into. Then she met someone.  She described their relationship as wonderful. Fights were rare, and problems were at a minimum.  Once summer came, it would be the true test if they could remain dating, despite the distance.  The first summer was a success, making trips back and forth to see each other while still enjoying some time apart.  When the fall arrived, things started to slow down, less hanging out, not as much talking, and more fights.  Sarah started to realize her friends slowly stopped asking her to do things, and she knew it had everything to do with her boyfriend.  Once things were finally too bad to get any better, the relationship ended. Sarah finally realized college relationships weren’t for her.