Trump Cancels April Fools’ Day Due to COVID-19
April Fools’ Day is an annual holiday every year where people have the opportunity to prank their friends, families and co-workers. Unfortunately, like everything else, the day was postponed to a later date due to the highly contagious coronavirus. Trump made the decision late last night.
“Believe me folks, April Fools’ Day is my favorite day of the year. It’s the best,” the president said. “However, for the sake of our country, it is within our best interest to cancel all April Fool events.”
The Trump administration has issued guidelines and restrictions for pranks. Anyone caught assisting, planning and executing any pranks that violate the 6 feet social distancing rules will be fined a minimum of $1,200 and spend six months in jail. The leading physician on the Trump administration, Dr. Fauci, said that he agrees with the decision.
“I think it’s important to prevent the spread of the virus. Also, why do we need an April Fools’ Day? I mean, seriously. There’s no prank anyone can come up with to match the unbelievable things that have happened this year. What more could you people want?”
Plenty of other political candidates have given their opinion on the matter. Sen. Bernie Sanders has made the argument that canceling April Fools’ doesn’t affect everyone equally.
“I understand the president’s concern but we should allow pranks that don’t violate social distancing. To cancel all pranks is a violation of the first amendment, and frankly, Trump should be ashamed. If you want to mix skittles and M&Ms together, you should be able to. I will fight this every bit of the way.”
Joe Biden’s campaign had no comment on the subject.
The Trump administration also warns people to stay inside, stay 6 feet apart from everyone and avoid drinking Corona.
*This article is satire.*