The Eagles’ Putrid Season, Philadelphia’s Assimilation to Cleveland, and Call-Outs

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(Note: This article was written prior to the Eagles’ latest debacle against the Cincinnati Bengals.)

You know when something bad happens so often that you just become numb to it? That’s what it’s like to be a fan of the Philadelphia Eagles.

What happened against the Packers and what’s been transpiring for the past eight weeks should come as no surprise to any seasoned Eagles fan. It’s not like this season is an anomaly for the Eagles. This is just another run of the mill year for them. They start out with so much hope and optimism, and by midseason it’s as if the team has been run over by a bus. On a year in year out basis, the Eagles have become as much of a shoe in to be stuck in a pit of mediocrity as a Jeff Fisher-led team is.

The Eagles were once 3-0 and now are 5-6. It sure is a shame they couldn’t play Chicago and Cleveland every week, huh?

Speaking of Cleveland, the Eagles, with the help of their lovely next-door neighbors – the Sixers, Flyers, and Phillies – are doing an awfully good job of turning into them.

A bit of history: The Eagles have never won a Super Bowl. The Sixers haven’t won the NBA Finals in over 30 years. The Flyers haven’t won a Stanley Cup in over 40 years and the Phillies have just two World Series wins in their 133 years of existence.

Now, before you get all grouchy and say, “We’re not Cleveland, they stink,” remember this: The Browns’ all-time NFL record is 461-451-10, which bests the Eagles’ record of 548-582-26. Philadelphia being as bad as Cleveland is what I like to call “the best kept secret in sports.” No one mentions it, but it’s the truth.

The Eagles are really worse than these guys.
The Eagles are really worse than these guys.

Moving along, it doesn’t look as if the Eagles are going to open up the championship floodgates any time soon. This team has so many problems. I don’t even know if I can name them all, but I guess I’ll give it a shot. I apologize in advance to any Eagle I forget. I promise you, your incompetence did not go unnoticed.

I’d like to start off my list of call-outs with the poster boy of incompetence. If you pull out your dictionary right now, go to the I’s and look up incompetence, there is a very strong chance that you’ll see a picture of Nelson Agholor sitting right there. The chance is almost a good as him dropping the next ball thrown his way.

It’s hard to even talk about Agholor without using profanity at this point. He’s the most inept first round pick in recent NFL history. It’s actually amazing he still has a job. Ask yourself this: If you were as bad at your job as Agholor is at his, would you still be employed? The answer is an emphatic no. Another amazing thing about Agholor is despite his ineptitude, various “experts” are still on board with keeping him and playing him. Do these guys even realize that the other 31 teams are laughing their heads off at the Eagles? Agholor is the gift that keeps on giving…to the other team.

If it were up to me I would cut Nelson Agholor right this minute. Actually I’m lying, I’d have cut him five weeks ago. Will Agholor be good somewhere else? Probably. And why’s that? Because that’s the Philadelphia way, baby!

Next on the list of call-outs is Doug Pederson. Is Doug a rookie coach? Yes. Does he deserve a pass because of his inexperience? Probably. Has Doug been terrible all year? No. His play-calling and game-planning in the Pittsburgh and Atlanta games were superb. But when Doug’s been bad, he’s been REALLY bad.

The challenge in the second half against the Packers sums “Bad Doug” up. No one, and I mean no one, could believe it. I’m not going to bother explaining it but as Nick Wright from Fox Sports 1 said, it was “horrible risk vs. reward.”

The man who threw perhaps the worst challenge flag in NFL history.
The man who threw perhaps the worst challenge flag in NFL history.

Next on the list: Jordan Matthews. I’ll keep this one short and sweet. Matthews is not a number one wide receiver. He’s physically gifted but he’s not a great route runner and it seems like he’s been taking hands lessons from Agholor. To be blunt, the Eagles won’t win anything with him as their top receiver.

Next up we have Lane Johnson. Lane, the Eagles very heady right tackle, has been one of the lone bright spots on the team in recent years. There’s just one problem for Lane. He apparently has no idea that the NFL drug tests! Lane already served a four game suspension and is now serving a 10-game suspension for violating league policy for the second time. If Lane fails another test, his next suspension will be two full seasons. Is anyone betting on him not failing another drug test?

As for Carson Wentz: It’s really tough to judge Wentz’ play this year. He’s had bright spots but he’s also had some lowlights. His ups and downs can pretty much be attributed to rookie play. The reason, however, that it is so hard to judge him is mainly based on his situation. Wentz has essentially had no weapons to work with on offense and Pederson has hardly done him any favors with the play calling. We’ll find out more about Wentz once he is exposed to a more stable environment.

As I said before, it’d be really difficult for me to sit here and break down all of the Eagles’ problems because of the abundant nature of them. I could go on about the horrific drafting in recent years (thanks Chip Kelly!), the porous secondary, or the abysmal running back play, but it’d take all day. So, I’d like to end this article with a plea to the Eagles’ ever so astute General Manager, Howie Roseman: In this year’s draft, please draft someone who can catch a football. And as a sidebar, please don’t take a 26-year-old firefighter again. Thanks!

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