Flirting is supposed to be easy, right? Isn’t it supposed to come naturally to us? The ability to bat your eyelashes, laugh at what he’s saying, and lightly touch his arm should be simple, and not awkward at all (we’re talking about girls’ forms of flirting here, of course, considering that’s the only type I know). At least that’s what you think until you go ahead and try to do it and royally screw up.
Let’s be honest here; some girls are great at flirting while others are just a big, awkward mess. Don’t worry, I’m the latter. One time, I was flirting (well attempting to) with this guy, and I accidentally told him to “text you” instead of “text me.” If it wasn’t obvious, I did not get that text. So to try to help us girls who can’t flirt for their lives, I’ve looked up some simple flirting tips (thank you, Love Panky and Seventeen). These tips (and the ways we’ll royally screw them up) are listed below:
1. Get closer to him when you’re talking.
It’s supposed to be as simple as moving a little closer to him when he’s talking to you. That way he knows you’re paying attention and are interested in him and what he’s saying. It’s as easy as taking one step.
But, you know what will go through our minds? How close should I get? Oh my God, am I too close to him? Does he think this is weird? Does my breath smell? A million thoughts will flood our minds in that millisecond. And on top of that, our hearts will be beating a mile a minute and we will fear he can hear our heart beating. Taking a step forward is hard to do when you want to flirt but feel like you can’t.
2. Tease him a little bit.
Let’s say you are talking, and you decide it’s time to try this tip. You go and say something that you think is only playful teasing, but you see a look on his face that makes you think maybe you offended him. Way to go. Now you freak out, and can’t focus on the rest of the conversation.
3. Flirt with your eyes.
Quickly look him up and down and give him a smile as you walk by and then continue walking. Singer, Ne-Yo, says, “You can have an entire conversation without saying a word.” This could go multiple ways for girls like us.
First option: your bad luck kicks in. You surprisingly do everything perfectly but guess what, he’s not looking. Instead the unattractive guy behind him thinks you were looking him up and down. Yikes, time to run away.
Or you might just be awkward and accidentally stare too long and the guy thinks something is wrong with you. You could also trip because you were looking at him and not where you were walking. All are highly plausible for me and I wouldn’t even be surprised if all three cases happened to me at once.
4. Whisper in his ear.
When you’re in a crowded place, lean in and whisper in his ear like you have a secret, and “accidentally” brush your lips against his ear. Sounds so easy, doesn’t it? But for us poor flirters and awkward girls this tip causes anxiety.
What if my breath smells? How do I “accidentally” brush my lips against his ear? What if he doesn’t like that I touched his ear? Oh my god, I can’t do it. All of these thoughts will most definitely run through our minds when considering whether to do it or not. With my luck—if I’m able to convince myself to try this trick—I’ll lean in and end up banging heads with him or accidentally biting his ear or something terrible. How are you supposed to explain that mistake to him? “Sorry my face knocked into your head”…great.
5. Act cute when talking to him.
Apparently, this can be done by blushing occasionally or keeping your finger on your lip when you’re thinking. There are so many things I can say about this one.
First of all, how do you even make yourself blush? All I can come up with is biting the inside of your cheeks to make them turn red. Imagine doing that, though. You’ll look so dumb and he will probably think something is wrong with you. No guy is going to want to talk to you.
As for keeping your finger on your lip while thinking, just don’t keep it on for too long because he’ll definitely question what you’re doing then. Or maybe that you have some weird lip problem, in which case he’ll never want to kiss you.
These are just a few of the many tips on flirting that you can find. So if you’re awkward like me, maybe reading all these tips and what could possibly go wrong will help you avoid those things in the future. If not, maybe just stick to not flirting and hope that one day a guy will notice you without you having to make a fool of yourself with your poor flirting skills. And all of us poor flirters will live happily ever after.