Parking story

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As event coordinator of the campus-wide clothing drive, it is my job to take bags of donations from Spectrum magazine lab in Bakeless to the storage closet on upper campus.

To do this I must use state keys, which must be returned at the end of the work day at 4:30 p.m.

This makes legal parking impossible, unless I use the metered parking adjacent to the library. While it would probably be a very good workout to carry up to 10 trash bags filled with heavy winter clothes across campus, I don’t aspire to be a body builder; rather I simply want to help the homeless.

This makes the task a James Bond Mission.  I (James Bond) must procure all of the heavy, awkard bags of clothing from the lab and get them safely into my Jetta (Bond Car) without the bad guys (ticketers) shooting me with a ticket.

One day, this mission went horribly wrong.

As I informed professor Brasch about the Homeless Alliance meeting taking place later that day and rounded up volunteers to help load donations into my car, the ticketers immediately swarmed the Bond car and disabled it with a boot.

My car was now completely out of commission in its mission against homelessness. I tried to explain to the university police that I was simply picking up clothes but after realizing brick walls don’t budge, I gave up.

Three days later, after my dad bailed me out so the car wouldn’t get towed, I made arrangements to meet with an officer to get the boot off.

When I was not available within the hour they requested, they pleasantly reminded me that “I had been parked there for three days, and really needed to move.” (If they didn’t put a large metal object on my tire, I would have happily moved my car three days prior.)

When I finally met the guy who took the boot off, I realized that a fancy new parking ticket was placed on my window while the boot kept my tire warm.

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