Your Star Wars Boyfriend
With popcorn in hand and a Star Wars costume draped over your shoulders, you take your seat with the masses for Star Wars: The Force Awakens. You have waited for what seems like ages and the anticipation is finally about to see an end. The Iconic “A Long Time Ago…” text pops up on screen and you can hardly contain your excitement as a small squeak escapes your mouth. As the movie progresses you are captivated by all of the characters, in fact they seem very familiar— almost too familiar. These men, dashing and daring as they are, hold a striking resemblance to your ex… or perhaps a future boyfriend.
Han Solo
The first date with your ‘Han’ was surely rough. He was crass and definitely said something to piss you off. Thankfully, you stuck around to see that first impressions don’t do this man justice. Sure, he’s selfish and arrogant, but he also has many layers. You bring out the best in him and allow him to dream of heights he never imagined reaching.
Note: Wear a seatbelt at all times, he tends to speed in his not-so-reliable vehicle
Finn
Luggage is something everyone brings to a new relationship and “Finn’s” trunk is packed to capacity. He’s embarrassed by his dark past, even lying to cover up his secrets; but he is warm hearted and has a deep understanding of right and wrong. You’ll likely see him as only a friend, but he will fall deeply in love with you by the end of the second year.
Note: He’s a gentleman who appreciates an independent woman, but may try to help a bit more than necessary.
Luke
Two words… Daddy Issues. His father was a bad influence as an adult and of no help to him as a child. However, ”Luke” is strong willed and knows he will never be like his dad. He is the quintessential good guy, you may have overlooked in high school before he flourished.
Note: He may have sister issues too. Look into it.
Vader
You rebel against your parents and run straight into the arms of “Vader.” He’s commanding and dark, you don’t stand a chance. Sadly, power starts to go to his head and it’s over as quickly as it started. Like a candle, your relationship burned out. Or he burned up…. one of the two.
Note: He has an unhealthy obsession with choking.
R2D2
College is known as an eye-opener as it creates new possibilities one could have never imagined. You’ve dated the frat guy and the intellectual, why not the funny one? He has a bit of an accent, but his wit shines through the language barrier along with a little sarcasm. He loves a laugh, but is first and foremost a reliable confidant. You can share anything with him and he’ll keep it safe, even if a large invasion was afoot… metaphorically speaking of course.
Note: This is the droid you’re looking for.
Chewbacca
He’s loud, boisterous, unkempt, and thoroughly misunderstood. He has a rough exterior but quickly softens if you allow him to show you his true colors. Strong as an ox, your hunky beau is loyal to a fault.
Note: He’s not likely to take out the trash due to a traumatic experience with a compactor. Don’t ask about it, he’s sensitive.
Kylo Ren
Sure he’s hot, but he’s prone to fits of rage, is not a stranger to temptation, and is reluctant to communicate. You wish him well and feel for him, but this relationship ends quickly.
Note: This is the ex you really have no second thoughts about. You’re better off.
Jar-Jar Binks
A time in your past you’d really rather not remember, thanks very much.
Although you may have had a “Jar-Jar” or a “Kylo Ren,” rest assured that there are many “Chewbaccas,” “Hans” and “R2D2s” out there. The question is, how do you know you’re not looking in “Alderaan” places?
It’s difficult to know for sure, but they will likely say, ”I Know” after you utter the words, “I love you.” Until that time, seek solace in the fact that there are more Star Wars films featuring daring and dreamy heroes to come.
