#PinnersProblems: The Detox Bath
So normally I’m finding pins and trying my hand at them in real time. However, as I was going through my Pinterest boards I saw a pin that I tried about a month ago and thought I would share the story with you!
It was the beginning of January and I was in my childhood home with my parents for our 6 week long winter break (I think PASSHE was attempting cruel and unusual punishment.) Even though it was a VERY long break I was still keeping my sanity and my parents and I were getting along really well.
Then my happiness was depleted with a tidal wave of mucus, used tissues, and high fevers as it descended onto our house like a plague of locusts. Yes. My parents were sick. Something I was having NO part of.
Anytime I heard my parents sneeze or cough I would banshee scream “HAND SANITIZER!” I refused to get sick and although I love my parents dearly, I was not about to be a slave to the common cold while traveling halfway across the country to Austin, TX in a few days. So was slugging down my fourth Emergen-C of the day, I found it. The glorious pin of a bathtub with promises of health, happiness and unicorns (okay no unicorns). It was a detox bath that would make you sweat out toxins and was supposed to be great for kicking a cold or flu. Solid.
Luckily, my parents have a jacuzzi tub in their master bathroom instead of the miniature half tub. However, I haven’t used it since I was using Barbie bubbles and playing with rubber duckies. But here I was at age 22, random ingredients in hand, determined to make myself sweat until there was not a single germ left inside my pale, very pale body.
So I dumped all of the ingredients (ground ginger, Epsom salts & baking soda) in the tub and the ground ginger started to turned the water a yellow baby vomit color. Great this is starting off fantastic. So I crawled in the tub, sit, look around a little and all of a sudden I started to sweat. I started to sweat OUT OF EVERY PORE IN MY BODY. I started sweating from pores I didn’t know I had. And let me just tell you something you already know, there is nothing cute about upper lip sweat. Not a freaking thing.
The proper sweat time was approximately 40 minutes and if you know me, you know I have the attention of a gold fish. So right before I’m about to challenge myself to a breath holding contest, I see it.
KEIKO! Keiko my beloved plastic whale! You may also know him as Willy, from the hit movie ‘Free Willy’ circa 1993, but I know him by his birth name, Keiko. I was a tad obsessed with orca whales back in the day. Cut me a break. So here I am, ridiculous, sweaty and bored out of my mind so I start playing with the whale. I am putting on a Sea World show in a pee-yellow aquarium for an imaginary audience.
I am singing songs and making splashing noises. I am 22 years old. What is wrong with me? Oh right I’m sitting a freaking detox bath for half of my day because PINTEREST TOLD ME TO!
So after I suffer through 40 minutes of solitude and a pathetic whale show, I get out. I get out and I smell like a gingerbread house. Once this little gem sunk in, I realized…
My name is Sarie and I am addicted to Pinterest. I am addicted to Pinterest and smell like a gingerbread house.
However, I didn’t get sick. So while ridiculous… we’ll call this one a win-win.
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