Lessons Learned

Everyone does stupid things, usually on a daily basis. Luckily for most of us, these things occur during a time when your mind is foggy and your inhibitions are lowered. Because of these factors, sometimes it’s easy to forget the embarrassment that we caused ourselves, but usually there’s one friend who reminds you of your stupidity, and if they’re not around, your phone can always be counted on. For those who don’t remember, or just don’t want to be reminded, of what happened last night, there are those of us who can definitely benefit from learning through your mistakes. With each story, there will be a college lesson included.

Sending in your own experiences is greatly appreciated. You’ll remain anonymous for your own sake, and there’s always the possibility of being able to embarrass one of your friends. So live it up, enjoy all that college has to offer, and make a fool of yourself! We only have four years to do so, and you’ll make my job much easier. Since this is the first in this series, I’ll start with some recent stories from my life.

Lingerie Parties- Themed parties can be fun, especially when people really get into them. Recently, I attended a lingerie party at a friend’s house. I wasn’t sure how many attendees would actually show up in lingerie, because that’s kind of embarrassing. I wore jeans. My friends and I had bets going on how many girls would end up looking slutty for the good of the theme. We all lost

As we entered the party, right away there were at least ten girls running around letting it all hang out— and I mean all. One of the more scantily clad girls I knew, but not well, so it was awkward for both of us when we realized I was seeing her basically naked. I told her she looked good. She did not. I’m such a good friend.

The climax of the night definitely came later. A lesson for all the ladies out there, teddies and chemises are one thing, a bra and thong is trashy. Even so, there were plenty of girls who arrived, realized the theme, and just got undressed. Though funny for most of the on-lookers, you’re definitely ‘that girl.’ Lesson number one for college, don’t be ‘that girl.’ Side note for ‘those girls,’ people were taking pictures.

Dancing on tables- This might be one of my favorites, although it is tricky to pull off when you’re in heels and already a little wobbly on sturdy ground. One time, I was at a very crowded party, the kind where there wasn’t room to breathe, let alone move. Because of this, the only way to go was up. So my friend decided to hop on a table and start dancing above the crowd. What seemed like an ingenious move quickly turned into a disaster when the table collapsed from beneath her.

The entire party saw this happen; luckily most of them probably don’t remember it. My girl’s a trooper and hopped up to continue dancing. Even though she handled the situation with poise, she did have to learn lesson number two: table dancing is hot, falling is not. Before you dance, check the structure of the table. This will definitely save you from an embarrassing misstep.

The stories you send in can be about anything and everything, but I would like the stories to be funny. Some possible options could be confessions, physical injuries, text messages, public urination, urinating in the bed, basically urinating anywhere other than a toilet, inappropriate sexual advances, inappropriate nudity, anything inappropriate, falling, fighting, waking up somewhere funny, on campus, off campus. out with friends, in class, or just anything humiliating. Email me your stories at k2daim29@gmail.com, and remember, the stories can be anonymous if you want to hide your identity. We’re in college and these things happen to everyone, so let’s learn from each other and hopefully history won’t repeat itself.

***This article is meant for entertainment, not to encourage or promote drinking or harmful acts. It’s meant to chronicle college experiences and learn from other’s mistakes. Drinking does not have to be involved in stories submitted.***