This story was sent in by a student on campus. The names have been changed to protect the not-so innocent.
Beauty is Pain- This past weekend my friend, Mary, celebrated her 21st birthday. Now, according to unwritten college rules, if one’s birthday falls on a Thursday, you get Friday and Saturday to pretend it’s still your birthday. We decided to go to one bar to get $3 pitchers and then mosey our way over to the other bar for better music and dancing. Everything was going perfectly fine. Although, Mary had a little too much to drink at the first bar, but it was her 21st so obviously we had to keep on going. We get to the second bar with no trouble. We start dancing and are having a great time. Although, as the night progresses I can see that Mary is having trouble staying on her high heels. In order to fix the balance problem she seems to be having, she decided to take them off and dance around the floor barefoot. Everything was going fine, until the bouncer came over and told her she needed to put her shoes on. She doesn’t. Then, about fifteen minutes later, another bouncer comes over to tell her she has to put her shoes on or she has to leave. I knew she wasn’t going to be able to stand with the heels on so we decided to go home.
The next day, Mary and I, along with a few of our other friends, decide to go to the same bar because we had such a good time the night before. As we’re waiting to get our ID’s checked, the bouncer from last night is standing at the door. He takes one look at my friend and goes, “Hey! You’re that girl from last night who I had to yell at to put her shoes on!” My friend was mortified.
I find that this is a common problem amongst college females; high heel pains. We’ve all been there. But this is not a lesson for everyone, being that most guys and some girls do not wear unusually uncomfortable shoes to add four inches to their height. Lesson Number Three, remember, just because you forgot, doesn’t mean the bouncer did. Bar employees are being paid to see what goes on under those strobe lights, so be cautious of your actions. However, in this case it was her 21st and in my opinion all is forgiven. You get one day where being a waste case is completely expected and understood, so take advantage! Friends don’t judge and neither does anyone cool.
Side note for this story, I enjoyed the rule where if your birthday falls on a Thursday, you get Friday and Saturday to pretend it’s still your birthday. Personally, my birthday is at the end of the month, so I celebrate all of December as my “birthday month.” It’s awesome because you can do whatever you want and no one can say boo, well, sort of. I recommend trying it out on your friends and family. This next story was experienced by one of my own friends.
Watch Where You Walk- This weekend, my friend was walking home from a party with her roommate. It was very late and they were about a block away from their house when they heard a car driving up from behind them. Not thinking anything of it, they stayed on course and continued to their destination. All of a sudden, the car slows down next to them and a cup of mystery liquid is thrown on to both of them, then the car sped off. It took my friend a minute to realize what just happened, but after she did, she came to recognize that someone had just thrown urine on her. Yes, a cup of pee.
I’ve heard some weird stories, but this was so random even I was shocked. She explained that at first she was mad because obviously she just got urine thrown on her. But then she saw that the car had driven off and there was no one to be mad at, so she just laughed off the situation. Lesson Number Four: always be prepared. Whether it’s a surprise run-in with an ex, a pop quiz, or a cup of pee, you have to be ready for the unexpected. Learning how to handle these situations will benefit you not only during your late night escapades, but also in your future.
The stories you send in can be about anything and everything, but I would like the stories to be funny. Some possible options could be confessions, physical injuries, text messages, public urination, urinating in the bed, basically urinating anywhere other than a toilet, inappropriate sexual advances, inappropriate nudity, anything inappropriate, falling, fighting, waking up somewhere funny, on campus, off campus. out with friends, in class, or just anything humiliating. Email me your stories at email@example.com, and remember, the stories can be anonymous if you want to hide your identity. We’re in college and these things happen to everyone, so let’s learn from each other and hopefully history won’t repeat itself.
***This article is meant for entertainment, not to encourage or promote drinking or harmful acts. It’s meant to chronicle college experiences and learn from other’s mistakes. Drinking does not have to be involved in stories submitted.***