Dear Ke$ha, You’re Talentless. . .

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Ke$ha, a new “pop icon” in the desperate music industry’s attempt to rejuvenate its talent, is poisoning our airwaves with her collection of drunken, lust anthems

Boys wanna touch your junk and you’re all about it aren’t you? You’ve really mastered how to exploit the music industry by flaunting sex and arrogance. Its certainly classy to go around talking about how you’re merely counting the seconds until the next man you’re about to grind up on approaches you with their tongues dangling from their mouths. After all, that is what you’re overplayed excuse for a song, “Tik Tok” is about isn’t it? How cute that you’ve decided instead of a regular “S” to be positioned in the middle of your name “Kesha”, that a dollar sign would be more appropriate. Prince already took the symbol motif and Madonna already defined the sexy swagger brand. Where’s your originality?

If you’re under the impression that the party does not begin until you walk in, then let me educate you a bit. Parties are defined, in the most modern way, as a group of people enjoying themselves usually with music, each other’s company, and possibly food or drinks. So unless the club you are walking into is a vacuous dump full of horny men who you seem to believe are only interested in throwing themselves at you, then the party has certainly begun without you.

But I don’t blame you, dear Kesha, I mean Ke$ha. Far be it from me to neglect to promote your self-empowered dollar sign for an S. The way you are isn’t your fault. I’m being serious. You’re just another industrial decoy held together by today’s music-altering computer programs that overlay any evidence of your inability to simply sing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” without shattering glass. Again, forgive me for being rather abrasive with you, Ke$ha, but I’m fed up with artists who reap the benefits of over-marketing and do not have the true musical talent to back it up. A higher authority, likely a greedy music agent, has presented you with a track list of attainable steps that will lead you to eventual super stardom and I’m here to combat his destructive practices that are blocking the ways for superior musicians to excel.

As you’re likely to fade out within the next year or so, I’ll leave you with this: Have some pride in yourself and the young women who look upon you likely each day. If you’re going to be famous, or considered as such, then be famous for being classy and appropriate. Our society doesn’t need a new wave of bare-midrift flaunting teens propelled by your teeny-bopper jam that proposes they should consider themselves superior beings. I’d take Norah Jones’ natural beauty before the shredded rags that line your body any day of the week.

Best of luck for when you’re cast for the surreal life.
-Lee

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