BUnow News


CU - Bloomsburg Opinion and Editorial

Cup o’ Joe: 1st serving

I have a friend named Rob.  Hell of a guy. He likes baseball and wrestling so we get along great.  Rob is kind of on the quiet side though.  In fact, in our circle we call him “Silent Bob”.  There are times where you can look Rob straight in the face and ask him a question and he will just stare right back at you like a pet cat.  I’m not kidding.
Why do I bring this up you ask?  Wait, you didn’t ask that.  You didn’t really say anything.  Nothing at all for almost five months in fact. I’ve posted six articles on BUNow that have collected nearly 1,400 views.  Do you know how many comments these stories received?  Three.   Three comments and one of them was myself. That means approximately 1,398 people have taken the time to read my slop, and only two were motivated enough to tell me to shut up.
Now I am very happy that people are reading the stuff I have posted here.  Still, it is no fun talking to yourself.  There is a reason Tom Hanks went crazy on that island without Wilson the volleyball around.  I’m slowly losing my sanity here.  I’ve grown a haggard beard and started wearing nothing but sweatpants.  It’s pretty bad.

So here is my solution.  I am going to post something everyday about all kinds of topics until something interests you enough to comment back. It’s going to get ugly.  I’m just throwing links, thoughts, ideas, and rants at you in absolutely no order at all.  This will be like my brain throwing up on your computer screen.

Today I came across a link at fox sports that listed the 10 athletes you don’t want to be.  There were some obvious athletes included in this list, such as Pac Man Jones, Michael Vick, and Sean Avery (We need to be more clear on the rules here though.  I might not want to be Sean Avery now, but who wouldn’t have changed placed with him back when he was dating Elisha Cuthbert?)
I thought there were a few huge misses on this list though.  Fox Sports claims we shouldn’t want to be Danica Patrick because her awesome talent is overshadowed by her even more awesome body. So let me get this straight. I don’t want to be Patrick because she is incredibly successful and everyone thinks she is gorgeous? Good call.   We also apparently wouldn’t want to be John Daly.  Maybe I’m way off, but John Daly sounds like that crazy, out-of-control friend we all had in high school who dropped out of college, fell into an incredible job because he knew a few guys, and married a girl that was way out of his league.   The man plays golf for a living, never works out or exercises, and spends all of his free time hanging out drinking at Hooters restaurants.   It might not be the life for me, but that sounds like a pretty damn good plan B.

I’ve been hard on the Husky Lounge before (check out the February 5th edition of The Voice).  I have to make it clear though that this is a love-hate relationship, and right now I am head over heels in love.  Kudos all around for the new appetizer combo that’s being offered: two potato skins, two chicken strips, three mozzarella sticks, and four onion rings. I had my first experience with this combo the other day and I’ve been walking around with a glazed over smile on my face for two days now.   I was so impressed that I won’t even mention the outrageous price they are charging (a good three dollars more than you would pay at any decent bar).  Let’s just enjoy the moment.  I’d also like to give special recognition to the Peanut Butter and Jelly with Bananas wrap. A close second on the list of things making my life worth living these days.

Me and my friends have a unique sense of humor. The word that would best describe it would be…  probably unoriginal.  We haven’t had an independent thought or joke in about 6 years.  We just quote movies, TV shows, songs, commercials, backs of cereal boxes… the list goes on.   Anyway, we quote most of the big blockbusters. Anchorman gets a lot of action.  Seinfeld always works.  Billy Madison we know by heart. For the most part everyone recognizes these quotes so it’s no secret that we are completely unoriginal.  That is why I like keeping people in the dark when I find a real classic hidden gem.  For the last month, I have seemed much funnier because of two clips that most people have never seen.  I’ve been plagiarizing them mercilessly and being hailed as a genius because of it.   My conscience has finally got the best of me though, so to save my soul I will now share two of my favorite clips that you probably haven’t seen.

A never before aired clip of Will Ferrell as Neil Diamond singing a duet with Christina Aguilera

Conan O’Brien playing baseball in 1864

Here is the easiest way to comment. I need help ending a heated debate.  I have recently become a huge fan of Lost.  My buddy Paul is also a big fan.  That’s where the similarities end.   I believe the Kate (Evangeline Lilly) is the most attractive women on the show.  He thinks Juliet (Elizabeth Mitchell) is somehow better.     Just comment and tell us what you think.  You don’t even need to say why.  Just write a name.  This isn’t an essay test, we can make it simple multiple choice.  Just pick a name.

I might be a bit behind the times on this one, but ESPN’s Streak for the Cash contest has overtaken Facebook as my new online addiction (That I can print).   I don’t know if I should be sharing this information with you, because now I’m just going to have a couple hundred more people competing with me for the million dollars.  So here is the deal, if you sign up after reading this post and win, you split the money with me 85-15. I’m not going to sit here and explain all the rules to you, but basically if you like sports and you like gambling for free, then you can’t waste anymore time.

Today, this game made me actually care about soccer. No one has been able to do that since the director of the Big Green.   To begin my quest for riches, I had to pick the winner of the Real Madrid and Liverpool match (Liverpool sounds like something gross used in Fear Factor).  This lead to me calling my go-to soccer expert Andrew Brown and the following converstation.

Me- Who will win the Real Madrid vs. Liverpool game
Brown- Well can it be a draw? Because then I would say a draw or a Liverpool win
Me- Well, it can be a Real Madrid draw/win or a Liverpool win.  And is soccer the sport played on grass or on ice?
Brown-  Actually they play on moon rock now, and pick Real Madrid.

Two hours later, Liverpool won 4-0.

I know I’m here to encourage comments, but based on recent events lets keep the soccer talk to a minium.

Editor’s Note-  Shannon Hoffman says, “Come back for your refill… It is FREE!”


  1. The Office was big for a while too, along those whole unoriginal lines.

    My first streak for the cash pick? Baylor over Nebraska…

    Let it also be known that I just did what you never had for the FreeP website and registered. The password was the most confusing jumble of letters, punctuation and numbers I’ve ever seen.

  2. I enjoyed reading this..but I thought the best part was the link to the picture of Elisha Cuthbert, but that’s my opinion.

Comments are closed.