“An established code, a woman’s law that every girl should follow.”
– Urban Dictionary
Many of you are already aware of the set of unspoken rules when it comes to dating a friend’s ex, but does hooking up with a friend’s ex-hook up count as breaking the rules?
In a guy’s world, they have their own set of guy code rules and aren’t as strict with the whole dating and hooking up policy like girls are. When two guys find out they have hooked up with the same girl they either: A. found a new topic to talk about, because let’s face it, it feels like guys talk way more than girls do now-a-days about sex, or B. act like it was no big deal and are proud of their accomplishment.
Is breaking girl code really worth it all for a one night stand? Now don’t get me wrong. Not all girls want to scratch each other’s eyes out when they find out they have hooked up with the same guy as their friends, but let’s be real, we aren’t going to be ecstatic that it happened.
Coming from a girl’s point of view, there’s a certain line we should know not to cross when it comes to wanting to hook up a particular guy.
Say your friend and this guy hooked up once way back when, no strings attached, and she even gives you the green light when you decide to ask her if she would care, I say go for it.
However, if they had hooked up recently and every now and then you hear her randomly bring him up in conversation just so she could talk about him, pump the breaks. That right there is an absolute NO-NO in girl world. Just because they hooked up last semester doesn’t give you the right to go and hook up with him this semester. The only one that is going to benefit out of this situation is him and the only thing it’s doing for him is boosting his ego (which most likely doesn’t need boosting).
Another situation where hooking up with an ex hookup would be okay is if your friend is in a relationship. If they are in a relationship, then yes, they technically shouldn’t get mad; however, you should still make sure there wasn’t any bad blood between her and the guy in the past. If your friend and the guy do have bad blood with each other, then avoiding that disaster would be your best bet.
Risking a friendship just to get lucky for the night isn’t worth it, trust me. The only way it is okay to go about hooking up with a friend’s ex is if you absolutely, hands down, no questions asked, know if they are cool with it. Even then, if you are still second guessing if you should actually do it, chances are you probably shouldn’t.
Yes they may give you the okay to go for it, but the second you leave, they will most likely talk shit on you behind your back. All that creates is a big mess on everyone’s part.
So next time you’re stumbling home contemplating if hooking up with this guy is going to be so worth it, think about the consequences that may come with it. And remember using the “I was so drunk” excuse won’t give you a free pass.