26 Things We All Think on the Walk Home From the Bar

We all have those nights where, if we remember them at all, when we didn’t think we were as drunk as we actually were. There are some signs you accept the next day that point to the fact you were super drunk; like how bad your hangover is, how badly you’re craving Blooming’ Bagels, counting the random bruises on your body, and my favorite, the entertaining thoughts you had during your walk home from the bar:
- Why didn’t I choose my Converse over these heels?
2. But I looked really good.
3. I should’ve stayed out longer so more people could see me.
4. How did I get drunk so fast?
5. I only had, like, four drink, plus those shots my friend bought me…
6. I probably should’ve waited for my friends so I wasn’t walking alone.
7. But I’m so tired!
8. And I’m not really feeling taking care of anyone.
9. Walk straight, you got this.
10. Just keep walking, just keep walking…just keep swimming, just keep swimming…swimming, swimming…
11. Maybe I should call my Mom and ask her about that thing.
12. Right, bad idea, she would be able to tell I’m drunk.
13. I probably embarrassed myself so much dancing tonight.
14. Next time I’ll be more subdued and responsible.
15. (queue Sandy from Spongebob) “I wanna go hoo-ooome.”
16. I probably should stop drinking as much.
17. Or not. I’m young.
18. Being 21 is the best.
19. I want food…
20. Damn, do I even have any money left for food?
21. When did I spend $40?!
22. Well now I guess I’ll have to go right to bed so I’m not hungry.
23. Thank god I don’t live on campus anymore.
24. Thank god I don’t need my ID to get into my apartment.
25. Actually, this walk isn’t that bad.
26. GODDAMN, ALL THESE HILLS!