Why “Talking” Relationships Can Be Painful

Our generation is filled with boys and girls that just don’t want to commit. Why? Well, we’re all messed up in the head. Some of us could be scared to commit because our parents have gotten a divorce and others might have mommy or daddy issues (trust me, it’s a real thing). Whatever your reason may be and even though you don’t want to admit it to yourself – you have trust issues.

Everyone I have ever talked to, boy or girl, has always said that they were “talking” to someone. You don’t know how stupid that sounds until you try to explain it to an adult. “Like, what do you mean you guys were “talking?” Are you dating? Are you just friends?” Quite frankly, we don’t even know either.

My definition of “talking” is a stage before the two people decide to be or not be in a relationship. It literally means you guys are speaking each other and trying to learn more about this person before you fully commit, which I respect.

There are some unspoken rules within this talking stage though, like how you cannot hook up with anyone else (unless the two decided that was okay). Also, if the two people decide that they can hook up and talk to other people, does that really mean they’re talking? This rule may seem insignificant, but let me assure you, it isn’t. You NEED to have that talk with your special someone before they think it’s okay for them to be going around hooking up with other people.

So, I was in the blossoming age of fifteen when I had my first boy I was “talking” to. It was fun, flirty and easy. We talked from as soon as we woke up to 3 a.m. each day. During school we’d give each other little glances only we could see and talk about it on the phone that night. It was pure and simple because we didn’t have to worry about other people or have the fear of being held down.

This went on for about a year or so and everything was perfect… at least that’s what I thought. I made the mistake of not having that, “Are we talking? Do you like me? What is this?” talk. I went to school one morning and found out that the kid I had been talking to had been talking to another girl as well. Except, they started dating. Annoying, right?

Even though we weren’t dating and now that I look back on it, we really weren’t even anything, it hurt. A lot. I didn’t cry in school like that dramatic girl everyone has in their grade, but I did wonder what I did wrong. I constantly questioned if I made a mistake somewhere along the way or if I just wasn’t pretty enough. It hurt because during the “talking” stage, you have expectations for each other and how your future is going to be, but 99% of the time, it never works out the way you image.

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All in all, the talking stage sucks. Although you’re blinded by how perfect someone is for you and they’re so nice and give you butterflies during that stage, it will either be a success or a fail. If you fail, let go of that “almost” relationship and try again. I’m sure your Cinderella or Prince Charming is out there. If you still don’t understand the point of this article or are confused about “talking” to someone, just listen to Drake.

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